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“I never wanted to do it in an auditorium. I wanted to do it in a regular room,” the suspected shooter said. “I had plenty of opportunities, but I always chickened out.”
The man believed to have killed two Brown University students during a mass shooting before fatally killing an MIT professor in Brookline left behind videos, federal officials said Tuesday, where he expresses no remorse and offers little insight to his motives.
“The only objective was to leave more or less on my own terms, and it’s already long overdue,” Claudio Neves Valente said in Portuguese, according to translated transcripts released by the Department of Justice.
In the transcripts, Neves Valente repeatedly mentions having injured one of his eyes, which the DOJ said occurred when he shot MIT Professor Nuno F.G. Loureiro at close range.
Below is the full transcript released by the DOJ:
Video 1: ‘I am not going to apologize, because during my lifetime no one sincerely apologized to me’
Neves Valente, in English: Okay, [sighs] as you can see, my eye is kind of f—ed up. It’s a shell round, bounced there. I don’t know if there are any kind of implications on the success of what I wanted to do or not… Uhm [pause] It’s done
Neves Valente, in Portuguese: It was, it was six months, man. Not six months, six semesters. Uh… I had already planned this for a little more. It seems that I’m starting to see a bit better out of my eye, but very little or almost nothing. The time for the final conclusions has arrived. The time for the final conclusions has arrived. Uhm, it was all a little incompetent but at least something was done. The only objective was to [pause] leave more or less on my own terms, and–and it’s–it’s already long overdue. And at least leave [pause] that I wasn’t–wouldn’t be the one who ended up suffering the most from all of this. No, that cannot happen. So, if you don’t like it, tough luck. Tough luck. There was also a lot of sh— that I did not like, and I had to put up with it. So, what has been done now… I’m in a storage space in Salem, I’ve had this here for three years, I think. I still have money. I would have money for a few more good years, if it was in Portugal or a cheaper place it would still be a long time, but I don’t care. I’ve been here… I’ve been here without caring for a very long time now. To say that I was extraordinarily satisfied, no, but I also don’t regret what I did. Honestly, my only regret is this thing in the eye [laughs]. But it was really hard, man. I really have far–far too much inertia. But since I was almost confronted by a guy there that day… not almost, I actually was confronted and he knew my… my… my license plate, I honestly never thought it would take them so long to find me. But look, I did one more, basically, since I’m not sure; it was done at a relatively short distance and [pause] quickly, and I don’t know exactly when I was hit in the eye, so I don’t know exactly… I hope that at least the first one hit. I don’t know. I don’t care. It’s all over. Now it’s my time to leave, on my own terms. [sighs] And [pause] what else? I am not going to apologize, because during my lifetime no one sincerely apologized to me. Uhm, the few times there was an appearance that it had happened, I later had access, uhm, to the people privately, the conversations we had privately showed it was all fake. Uhm [pause] so they are not going to get anything from me. I did not like any one of you. I saw all of this sh— from the beginning. I began to grow suspicious since I barely had conscious memories, at the age of three. At the age of five I was already sure. I saw all of this sh— from the beginning, with a few exceptions, and [pause] I had hoped it would be negotiable, as a matter of competence, morality. That’s why I was a good guy on every level; not always, but almost always, and–and, no. It isn’t–there isn’t–there isn’t any type… it’s completely non-negotiable. So go f— yourselves, to hell with you. Three e-mails should go out today, tonight, people will receive them, basically. I’m not saying anything else. And the thing is with this eye situation, I even thought about doing it with glasses on, and then at the last moment I thought: no, because the glasses fog up, this is at close range, [unintelligible]. I was stupid. If I had done it, it wouldn’t have… but I also have no interest whatsoever in staying here. That’s it. [unintelligible]. I also have no interest in being famous. I don’t give a damn about how you judge me or what you think of me. The overwhelming majority of things that are going to be said, I can already imagine. In fact, I was already reading, uhm, I particularly like Trump’s sh—, to have–have called me an animal, which is true. I am an animal and he is also, but uhm, I have no love–I have no hatred towards America, I also have no hatred at all. This was an issue of… of opportunity. I would really like to thank you for the only opportunity that you gave me here, which was this one, and… and look, that’s it. I don’t have anything else to say. We are finished. I did not think it would be exactly on these terms, nor was I planning to come here, but this is an isolated place, I hope to stay here for at least a few good hours without… without being found. Even though the stupid car is outside, and obviously there is a record of my entry, and there are cameras and sh—, but it will probably be a few good hours, so, the longer I stay here, the better. Let’s see if I’ve got the balls to do this to myself now, because it was hard as hell to do it to all of these people, man. It was hard as hell. I envy those who are born, by nat–by nature or not, or because of… I envy those who have no difficulty doing it, and these people exist. That’s what I really envy. The rest means nothing to me. Let’s see if I have the courage. It’s 10:00 PM, and that’s it.
Video 2: ‘I have no hatred toward America, but I also have no love for it’
Neves Valente: [Unintelligible] When I say that I have no–no hatred toward America, I also have no love for it–you can barely see this–I have no love. Actually, I think that coming here, both times I did, was a f—ing mistake. But to say that you all are extraordinarily bad, that would be… nei–nei–neither bad nor good. It’s the same sh—. You are monkeys like the other ones. But I wanted to leave this… I was reading the recording I made… no, not reading but watching it. I said I had no hatred, but I also have no love. It’s the same thing with Portugal, and most of the places where I have been. It says nothing. Wherever a guy goes [pause] that’s how it is. Let’s see how this is going to wor–work now. If I really have the courage to do this. In these two instances, I needed a catalyst–for both of them. But for the first one, it was the fact that I was confronted, and in the second, I also had one, you could say, a little bit. So…
Video 3: ‘I don’t care at all about being famous, having a legacy’
Neves Valente: That I, obviously, would rather do anything else than this. Because it is hard. In particular, because I do not want to fail, right? I’m wondering if I should use one weapon, if I should use both. I already know that you are going to say that I am mentally ill, or some sh— like that. That is all nonsense. That’s all bullsh— excuses. You are [pause] Uh… those are all excuses for you to f— whoever you don’t care about. I am–I am sane. [Lights go out] Hey, those lights there are beginning to turn off. [pause] I am sane and… My eye seems like it’s starting to… ah, it’s because it’s dark. [closes right eye twice] Hum… yeah, it’s f—ed up. I am sane, and [pause] I’ve always been, more or less. No–no–no, no–no one is perfect, but [sighs] [pause] In my… In my take on all of this [pause] is that [pause] I think the world cannot be redeemed. To sum it all up, that is it. I do not even know if I’m going to leave this here. But even if I delete it, it is on an SD card, it’s going to be a little hard. I want to know if you are going to post this, maybe I would prefer that you don’t, and [pause] I don’t care at all about being famous, having a legacy, and sh— like that, manifestos and f—ing stuff. I have absolutely no patience for that. Even though I would have a lot to say and write, I don’t care. I’m not going to give you the right to that.
Video 4: ‘I had plenty of opportunities, but I always chickened out’
Neves Valente: Just one more scene. It seems like someone over there said that I was saying that I was… Allah Akbar [phonetic] or some sh— like that. I do not remember having said anything. If I did say something, it must have been some kind of an–an exclamation, uhm, because I thought that one… I–I never wanted to do it in an auditorium. I wanted to do it in a regular room. And I had plenty of opportunities, especially this semester, I had plenty of opportunities, but I always chickened out, and I already explained why I did it this time. So, it all went wrong. I think that outside is what turned out best, but when I entered the auditorium, basically I only saw one guy down there, if I even saw him initially. And I thought, fuc–it was, and I must have made an exclamation like “Oh no!”, or something like that, to express that it was empty, that is, if I said something like that. I thought that the people had left. Because they were kind of stupid. There is–there is an emergency exit [laughs] on the lower right side. They ah… all of those people that were hiding, under the… the table, or whatever the hell, they could have perfectly left through there. I thought that they had–that that was what happened when I was outside, which I assume is where it turned out best, but maybe not, actually, because when I left, I didn’t see anyone there anymore. Ah… I assume… I thought they had all left through there. But then I realized that no. That they were all actually hiding under the–the–the chairs and the… it was hard to see, but that’s it. Uhm, now that should be everything.
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